Resistance and Recovery

My path to recovery started with resistance. Resistance of a problem, resistance of acknowledging my disorder and my past that had fostered it. My disorder and I so desperately resisted so we could stay nestled together where we had been for years. As long as I resisted they didn't know that I wanted it, they … Continue reading Resistance and Recovery

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Uncertainty and Anxiety and Fidgeting; Oh My!

I wish I knew why, or what, or where, or why not. I don’t do well with uncertainty.  It doesn’t matter what part of my life the uncertainty is centered in, it infiltrates everything.  Uncertain about how you did on a test? Everything is terrible because you don’t know how you did until the results … Continue reading Uncertainty and Anxiety and Fidgeting; Oh My!

We Need To Have a Talk About ‘Recovery’ from an Eating Disorder

I have never liked the word “recovery.” It didn’t sit right in my mouth, sounded strange coming out and rendered images of empty stark white hallways with a thick layer of dust and grime everywhere. Recover, return to, regain, but what? Me? My health? Truth is, I’ve never gotten to the bottom of why the … Continue reading We Need To Have a Talk About ‘Recovery’ from an Eating Disorder

Why I Got Tattoos That Signify My Battles With Mental Illness and Femoral Acetabular Impingement

I am seriously afraid of needles. Yet, I have two tattoos. I worked through the fear of needles as best I could, although I’m still terribly afraid, because I wanted these tattoos. I tackled that fear, not for a tattoo because I wanted a tattoo, but for what my tattoos would represent. My two tattoos … Continue reading Why I Got Tattoos That Signify My Battles With Mental Illness and Femoral Acetabular Impingement